By: Kasey M Parrish
“Kids can become the debating alfa’s in your house old if you allow them… This blog can help you notice those negotiating techniques your children have learned to use so well over you and other adults.”
Most women consider motherhood a challenge and privilege in itself. This is because you are not only given the task of distilling morals into another human being but you are in charge of their life. This responsibility can sadly go both ways. There are bad mothers and there are what people consider good mothers.
I have learned over the last eleven year that children will do anything to test your buttons, if it helps them have a better chance in getting what they want. I call the Childs methods negotiation. Children think that even though you have set the demand, such as “clean your room” they can negotiate the demand with you if you allow it. You may not realize you are allowing this negotiation, but every time you change your mind and give them a new command, the child has negotiated well and gotten their way.
Most children don’t realize this method they use, they just know by doing it they can weasel their way out of the daily obligations needed of them. We as adults also do this in everyday life. For example, we negotiate the foods we eat or the hours we work. Children are no different, even at a young age, the toddler realizes by throwing tantrums they can ultimately get their way if you as the parent allows it.
Great ways to put a stop to a Childs debating….
- Once you give the demand do not got back on that demand.
- If the child starts to argue, empathize with their feelings but stand firm in your orders.
- If the child starts to get loud, throw things, or have a tantrum, tell them ” I do not like the way you treating me right now, so I am going to give you some time to cool down,” Then walk away.
- This is important, DO NOT ARGUE WITH THE CHILD. By arguing with them you are giving them power over you to set you up for a debate over your demands.
- I know this can be difficult but its very important not to argue.
- Now if the child is hurting themselves your others you must step in and help to calm them.
- When you implement this technique into your parenting style, there will be back lash.
- Kids tend to try and hold on to any tools they have developed growing to get their way.
- Remember you are the adult and they are the child so its important to stay calm when trying this tool at home.