BY: Kasey M. Parrish
Most women consider motherhood a challenge and privilege in itself. This is because you are not only given the task of distilling morals into another human’s life, but you are in charge of their health and well being. This responsibility can sadly go both ways, not every parent has the instinct to protect their young. Thanks to years of reseach we can now see the odds a child at a positive future when they are brought up in neglectful enviroments. Most of the kids end up in jail or worse diseast at a young age. Very few neglected kids show resilence and florish with the motivation to overcome their trials.
What is the definition of a good mother?
Fifty years ago it was considered the norm to beat a child with a belt if they were being bad. Grandmother’s would tell their kids to go out to the yard and pick the longest switch they could find, then use this to promote dicspline. Today most parenting data shows that whooping a child will only lead to them lying in the future instead of confiding in you with their problems. Most people would say that giving a child a spanking is a result of the parents loosing their tempers. Others would say I was spanked growing up, and I never made those mistakes again. Are you showing the child who’s boss by imprinting them to fear you and abide by your demands? What do you think? Today spanking a child is referred to in the law book as corpal punishment, which is using physical force to discipline a child. This is still a legal part of child raising in the US and UK. Although there is a line between spanking and abuse. Some school teachers have even used this without consequnce in todays young generation.
What does the community think?
Josh Crinshaw, father of two buys, explained, “You don’t have to beat your children to get them to listen, talking out the issues and showing them what they are doing wrong is always a better route.” “Children follow their parents lead in every matter. If you are cursing and yelling at your child for doing something wrong, that will only escalade the childs temper as well as yours!”
Am I saying you can’t loose your cool when tested by a childs action’s, of course not. We are only human and you must remember that you have time to walk away and cool off. Tell the child you are disappointed and tell them you need a minute to cool off. In these cases you as the parent must hold on to your patience and gain control in every situiation. Do not let the child debate or negotiate your demands when it comes to the consequnce. When a child realizes they can change their punishment they will strive for this in every argument. Be firm but also make sure the consequnce matches the deed.
After talking with a mother of six kids, I have seen how stress can completely factor in our views on corpal punishment. Zoey Wallace has children ranging from 31 to 13 years old. She has a child who grew up to be a accomplished young women and then a child who took the tough road and is currently incarserated. Her views on corpal punishment make it apparent that children need to know how bad it can be when you test another human being. Not everyone is out for their best interest in life. She has raised her children all the same, and gave them the choices to become who they are today. She also made it very clear that you are who you hang around. Ms. Wallace also claims that as humans our fight or flight checks in when we are at our highest peak of stress, and as a mother I can agree in this matter.
Chidren test our patence as parents but we must understand they have trusted us to the point where they think they can get away with disrespect. It is our jobs to not only show them we will not take it but also to do it with dignity. When your kids become adolecents you start to realize there is no controling thier actions. We can only guide them into the right direction and hope they choose the right path.
Kanses Robertson makes a great point when she stated, ” If I were to have children I would show them the same respect they show others. Meaning If my child were to pinch another I would pinch them and ask them how it feels?” I agree with this kind of act, children must understand the impact they can have on others. Not only when it come to emotional but physical abuse as well. Of course people who are against corpal punishment would argue that if a parent is willing to spank a child as a form of discipline, then we as adults cannot rule out that child growing up to become someone who uses physical force as a tactic to get what they want. In this matter I would revert back to what Ms. Wallace stated, we are a product of our enviroment, and we miror the people we choose to hang around.
Even today there are laws put in place called guilt by association. Meaning you could have had nothing to do with a group who was vadalizing property, but if you are with the group at the time of the act you are just as much liable as if you were caught with the spray can in your hand.
Over all do I think we are on our way to a world without corpal punishment?
Not even close! We live in a world were people are still dying over land and other petty disagreements. There are countries filled with starving individual’s and other countries hell bent on building a billion dollar wall to keep people out. There is humanity in all of us, but for our future generations to grow into a life without violence it will take a large spark of humility first. It starts with our world leaders and trickels down to the newborns taking their first breaths right now! We as humans are evolving everyday, and sadley the barbaric nature of violent tendecies has not yet ran its course. There will come a day when the human being can come together as one, but by then I am assuming we will be brought together by a reason bigger then us all!